Grace in Life

Peace Restored

2011-01-18T13:17:00.002Z

This weekend I was at a Porterbrook conference, and wanted to briefly share what I'd gained from it. The time we spent together was fabulous, and I found the Bible came to life as we studied it together in small groups. Reflecting on the gospel, and thinking through what God has to say about families, and how we are a family in Christ if we are trusting him, was really encouraging.

I appreciated people's candour as far as the reality of church life is concerned, that people from all church backgrounds find being a community on God's mission hard and failures are plentiful. I think I found peace in the fact that we do things differnetly to others, and yet in fact we face the same problem - it just manifests itself differently to different groups. So, we may not be the champions of reaching the poor and needy, (although I dont want to imply we don't care about the poor both locally and abroad - we really do!) but we are confident to talk about Jesus in the company of our more middle-class friends and colleagues. Other groups target the poor, but pass up opportunities to speak for Jesus because they are worried they'll lose credibility...

The heart of the problem is a misunderstanding of Grace. Perhaps the one reflects a misunderstanding of God's value for all people regardless of background and his proactivity in reaching them. The other reflects a lack of joy in our salvation...our hearts aren't full of Jesus, so we don't talk about him, because it's out of the overflow of our hearts that words are formed. We talk about what we love...I talk about Mike(my husband) and knitting and animals. It's only natural that Jesus should be on my lips too, as I love him most of all.

There are so many different examples of this, I'm not trying to be exhaustive. But I am encouraged that the problem and the solution are the same for all Christians in a big sense...we don't belive the gospel! We under-estimate it's beauty, it's power, it's attractiveness. I am reminded that I need to be humble before God, to ask him to reveal more of his amazing love through his Spirit, to beg that he change my heart and that my desires change to his desires in turn. How I long for that change to come...And how great it is to see that happening, to feel God's Spirit at work in me and witness the changes in those around me too.

Are we living just lives?

2010-11-17T13:07:00.002Z

I'm coming across the word 'radical' almost daily at the moment, and got to thinking through how radical gospel living ought to look. In what ways was Jesus radical? He loved people with reckless abandon, even to the point of losing his life. His priority was always to reach people with the good news of salvation, and to point them to a life lived for others, as his was for them. This is radical - but I think can lead us to all sorts of hypocrisy if we opt in or out of this according to what we feel is important or no. The gospel is life changing and I'm convinced radical Christian living is about living all of our lives in a way that boasts in Jesus and follows his pattern of putting others first.

So, as Jesus loves the poor we should too - but how does this look? One of our key traps is to give money to aid or charitable causes or missions, and yet ignore the impact our own lifestyles have on the very places we're sending aid to. If there are poor people struggling to make a living from farming that puts food on our shelves, and that we buy at a fraction of it's true value - then no wonder these people can barely afford to eat themselves. And we send money to their aid? What hypocrites! Surely, if we buy food that is ethically traded and kind to the people producing it in the first place, then we are being much more just than if we perpetuate the problem by consuming unjustly and give money to make up for it.

But lets not be pragmatic about this - change starts with the heart and is a Spirit led thing. As we read the gospels we see Jesus truly loving all people, the rich and the poor, the uneducated and the educated, the good and the bad...he loves all people and accepts anyone who recognises their need of him. So, if Jesus loves the people who farm our food, and the people who transport it to us and the people in the shops where we buy it etc, and our very selves - the person we know best and whose sin we are most aware of and appauled by, then we, for love of Jesus, should reflect his love of the poor. And that means addressing the lifestyles we take for granted, asking questions of the shops we use, the governments who represent us in the world, and more closely to home, of one another. Does what we consume love the poor? Or does it care more about owning than loving, eating than nourishing, wealth than investment?

Doesn't radical gospel living mean applying the gospel to every single decision we make? And as our whole lives reflect God's goodness, so the world looks on at our good deeds and glorifies our father in heaven.

Rejoice - again I'll say it, Rejoice!

Praying - a head on collision of the will of God and the will of man?

2010-07-12T14:40:00.003+01:00

Well is it? Sometimes, forgive my pessimism, that is just how it feels. We sit in circles and ask God to so 'Something Amazing'...but what if God's amazing doesn't seem so amazing to us? We thank God that he's answered our prayers when we get what we've asked, but how often do we genuinely thank God for answers that are unseen, or worse, unwanted?

For a while now I have been struggling with corporate prayer, and was forced to face up to this in a Family meeting recently where we were asked as a family how we could do better, and what were the underlying issues preventing us from praying together more. I realised that a growing unease and resentment has been growing in my attitude to prayer as I see it as a place where Christians can be very glib and exceptionally self-serving, and not least myself. I come to God and ask him for lots of things and thank him for visible successes of the gospel in the lives of those around me. But there's no obvious recognition that God is at work even in adversity, that sometimes he hears, but doesn't respond as we have asked or indeed in a way we can particularly identify at all. Shouldn't we be expressing gratitude to God in all things?
My pastor helpfully clarified that, yes we should be thankful in all things, but that doesn't mean for all things e.g we shouldn't be thankful that a relative has died, as God doesn't want people to die and it isn't part of how he intended his creation to be. And so, it's ok that I should instinctively find it impossible to be truly thankful for such horrible and painful things. But we should be thankful in all things - because God does work all things out for the good of those who fear him, and Jesus has definitely still died and been raised to new life despite what troubles come my way.

So can we recognise God more? What about a whole evening dedicated to just recognising what we've prayed to God and how he's answered us? How about pinning down the answers we feel we have and haven't had, and rather than shying away from the bad, confessing God is sovereign over these things and will work out good from them in ways we may never understand? Surely we'd be keener to pray if we pointed out to each other, reminded each other, that God does hear our prayers and explored with each other the ways we can see that in our own lives and communities.

We'll be having a day of prayer and fasting in September - and my prayer now and then will be that we will be more God centred in our prayers, genuinely seeking his will and his glory and recognising our sovereign God as Lord of all, even the hard and the unseen things in our lives...

Rejoice Always,
Rachel

Forgiven much and yet unwilling to forgive? What's with that?

2010-01-15T13:50:00.003Z

I ask myself - why can't I forgive, when I've been so abundantly forgiven? Why so hard to let go of hurts when our Lord is faithful and just to forgive even the most repeated and loathsome of my own sins? I must have a very small view of the gospel, because when I take a step back and look at it (albeit with blurred vision) I realise it is not only foolish, but damaging to hang on to bitterness for wrongs done against me.

First of all, if I really understand that my life, and the lives of others are truly only about giving God glory, then I'll realise that I'm owed nothing, either by God or the people around me. They and I owe God everything. I'll also realise just how privileged I am that God has chosen to make living for his glory a beautiful, joy-giving, praise-inducing thing. And with that in mind, and in my heart, when 'bad things' happen, I'll rightly feel a sadness that things aren't just how God intended them to be, but rather than feel righteous indignation, I'll grieve the hurt caused to God by people choosing not to live his way.

Then I can let God, who I have also wronged with disproportionate frequency and zeal, deal with that sin, as well as mine. Be that on the Cross where Christ pays for the sins of those who trust him, or at final judgement for those who don't. I'll be sadder about those people who don't trust Jesus, knowing that the judgement they face is terrible. I'll be spurred on to share Jesus with them, both because I long for God to be honoured by them as is right for our loving God and creator, and because I love these people and want them to experience the mercy I too experience evey day.

So - I must choose to forgive when wrong is done to me. And why? Because it really is God's to deal with and he really has forgiven me so much in Christ. Who wouldn't want to be more like Jesus as a result of all of this?

Rejoice, again I will say rejoice!

Rachel

Letting go of shame

2009-11-02T14:48:00.003Z

Recently whilst browsing Facebook I've been surprised to receive 'Friend Requests' from school friends I have neither seen nor spoken to in years. People whose names I have largely forgotten and whose lives I have no exposure to or impact on. And yet, despite my (perhaps intentional) lack of memory, I have found myself on more than one occasion browsing their lists of friends, trying to remember the faces and names and wondering 'What are they up to these days?"

But this, in itself is neither a unique nor extraordinary experience. What makes me want to write about it is the feeling of anxiety and shame I feel as I look back on my experiences with these people and at the time when we knew each other. I am tortured by memories of shameful things I did, of a selfish and childish attitude that was dangerously introspective and the question "Would these people want to know me now? How do they remember me?" I have nightmares where individuals turn up in my present life, at work or home, and I still want to convince them that I'm worthwhile, that I'm a friend they should want to have.

Part of University life's advantage to me was an escape from a world where I always tried too hard and never really fit in, and the chance to be both eccentric and acceptable. But I fear the lack of peace I feel when I look back, means I have issues as yet unresolved. I need to make peace with myself over the things I feel so ashamed of. Perhaps that means facing up to the fact that I was young and naive and it's normal to have regrets. Surely another aspect as a follower of Jesus Christ is trusting his death has paid for even my worst behaviour and that I'm forgiven by trusting in him. But how do I forgive myself? How do I look back without that sinking feeling of self-loathing at a misspent and unhappy youth?

The flip side of this is that I am delighted to have a family in Christ, who do offer that acceptance and love, who forgive me freely in Jesus' name and who encourage me to see how gracious God is and valued I am by him. I'm also much more comfortable with who I am allowing me to build better relationships as I relate naturally with people around me. So I have many things to be thankful for and really love the fact that I've grown up. There is no part of me that desires the past, and there are few memories that make me nostalgic or wistful. I want to express my gratitude for the here and now, but also make peace with the past - a daunting, but necessary path I feel.

Rejoice in the Lord Always,

Rachel.

Drifting away

2009-09-07T20:36:00.004+01:00

These words may mean a variety of things to you - pictures of little rowing boats on a calm lake with crystal blue skies above, bright sunshine warming your skin and the sound of birds singing, lulling you to a relaxing dreamworld. Or how about that nice hot bath with the aroma of exotic flowers, bubbles overflowing the brim and steam soothing your aching bones.

Actually, that kind of drifting sounds great, but the drifting I mean is a lot less pleasant, and unfortunately tends to be of a much greater magnitude. I'm talking drifitng from grace, drifting from trusting Jesus and living with him as Lord. It seems to me that as I am a Christian for longer (and that said it's only really been 6 years or thereabouts) the more I am confronted with the disappointment of seeing people turning away from God. The reasons are many, but the pattern seems to me to be the same. One experiences some disappointment or distraction, which leads to a disillusionment with the Christian faith. One sets up for themself an idol to fill the resulting 'void' and worships it with very little satisfaction and a lot of guilt. Guilt-racked, one avoids God by avoiding his people, his word and prayer, leading to a growing void that one attempts to fill with one's idol, thereby increasing the guilt, and so the cycle goes on.

The Bible, from beginning to end warns against drifting away from God. Check out the following verses in your own time / Bibile:

Exodus 6:10 - 25 - we need to remind ourselves of God's goodness, and prompt ourselves to Love him continually.

Hebrews 3:12 - 19 - we are to uphold one another, being carfeul not to have a 'sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the Living God.

The commands and warnings are there, becuase the threat is real. Our hearts can become cold to God, hardened to him and in our unbelief we commit the terrible sin of turning away from him. The evidence is there in life too - a brother or sister in Christ turns their back on God to pursue a relationship with an unbeliever. A business project becomes all consuming, or shifts too long and we end up too tired to go to church and too busy to go to home group. Dissatisfaction with ourselves and a poor understanding of grace lead to dangerous, life robbing addictions that prevent us being the mothers / brothers / children we ought to be.

I plead with you if you are reading this and a chord has been stuck...turn back now. It will only get harder as the idolatry grows, the sin entangles, your heart hardens and you just stop caring about Jesus. Choose Christ who is able to save you for eternity, who loves you and longs to welcome you back, and who lives in you by his Holy Spirit, who blesses, comforts and guides you in God's will. In the words of Jim Elliott "He is no fool that gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose"...I wholeheartedly agree!

Rachel

This life, in this world, with this God Part II

2009-07-03T17:18:00.003+01:00

Ok, so I feel compelled to expand on my last post, to address the question of why this life that is such a joy and a privilege, often looks and feels like the opposite.

Its a real question, and a legitimate one. We see the psalmists asking God 'How long O Lord?' 'Will you hide your face from me forever?' and 'Why are you downcast, O my soul?'. Not the questions of someone who is finding life to be a breeze. And these truly are acceptable questions, ones God wants us to ask of Him, albeit with a humility that accepts that God is bigger and wiser than us, and knows what's for the best.

So, when might we expect to face these questions? I suggest one or two may be:

At times of loss and grief.
When we experience injustice at the hands of others.
When things turn out differently for one person than another, despite the circumstances being similar in each case.

Why does a God who loves me allow me to struggle with the same illness, even though every night I BEG Him to help, heal and change me? Why do I still sin when His Spirit in me is able to change my heart so that I am more like Christ? Why does God heal some people miraculously of their illnesses, and others are left to die?

I don't know. It seems such a cop out to answer with the words of the writer of Deuteronomy 'The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law'. But this is the infallible word of the same God who is bigger and wiser than me.

I have a friend who asks every morning 'Is the gospel good news for me today?'. The answer is obvious. In the face of suffering, pain, loss, and frustration with ourself and the world, we inevitably ask the question 'Where is God and what on earth is he up to?' But the answer to the former is always a resounding 'YES!!!'

We should be careful with our questions...asking of God what is going on should be done with a desire to serve him and submit to him, rather than a defiant heart that shakes its fist in his face when things are hard. This is the same God who sent His son to die for you, that you may have both an eternal blessing in life with Christ after death, as well as the countless blessings of a restored relationship with him in the present. God hasn't chosen to put the whole world right just yet, but we do see glimpses of what the world will be like when he does. He promises us a new creation, where 'He will wipe all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall their be any pain' - what an amaing hope for his people who experience grief and trials now, but trust in the cross of Christ as the guarantee of their future.

We can, and must find joy from reminding ourselves that our God knows what he is doing. He does love us, as demonstrated by the sacrifice of his perfect son for the sins of the people at the hands of whom he was killed. That even while I was (and am) still sinning, Jesus has died for me. And being raised to life and seated with God above, I too, through faith in him, am already seated with Christ on high and will be raised to eternal life after I die.

God asks us to trust him. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight'. So lets be honest with one another when we don't understand what is happening to us and how it can possibly be under the control of a powerful and loving God, but lets also remind each other of the cross, a place of compelling, unchangeable comfort and a stern reminder of God's gracious love, glorious salvation, and awesome power.

Keep rejoicing!

Rachel.

This life, in this world, with this God.

2009-06-29T21:09:00.003+01:00

On my way to work the other day I had a kind of epiphany, a moment of clarity, a realisation of something I just don't seem to have truly understood. God made me. Every fibre of my being is made by him and belongs to him. Everything on this earth is his. So what's my purpose in life? To glorify him. It seems so obvious now. Made by God, for His purposes, I have no rights in his regard, no claims to stake, nothing to demand as my own.

So what does this mean? Well, I might feel extremely vulnerable. Our creator is a God who is powerful enough to create the Universe, who has named all of the stars in the sky, and knows the thoughts of my heart. To him I owe my existence and life (however brief it may be) and by him I am owed nothing. So he is both able and within his rights to do whatever he pleases with me. Its my duty to honour him as he is my creator, and he could make this a depressing, long suffering mightily unpleasant experience. Indeed, he could keep me in misery forever. And yet, he hasn't chosen this.

How pleasant it is to feel the sun shine on my face, to see lambs gambolling in the fields in spring, to look up at a sky rife with clouds and forks of lightning, to hear claps of thunder against a background of torrential rain, to taste a ripe and juicy strawberry from the garden of a friend, to smell freshly ground coffee, or the fragrance of a rose in bloom.

God has made the world a delightful place to live, where I hear friends laugh together, enjoy a kiss and a cuddle with someone I love, receive generosity and hospitality from friends who consider it a joy to be kind to me, and what's more, ask nothing in return. In this world I experience love in so many contexts and the joy it brings is all gift, all grace, all free from a God who owes me nothing and yet seeks out ways to bless.

When I am tempted to grumble (its too hot, its too hard, I'm too tired) I'd do well to remember the reason I have been made, and the privilege and joy it is to live this life, in this world, with this God.

Rejoice Always,

Rachel.

Is it always possible to be kind?

2009-06-03T15:58:00.003+01:00

Always possible to be kind?

When faced with the quote "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible" - The Dali Lama - I instinctively asked the person who'd quoted it "If it's always possible to be kind, why has no one ever achieved it yet?"

In response he asked me the following three questions, which I will attempt to answer in turn.

i)How do you know it's always possible?

Well if by this question we mean 'What is the metric by which you will decide if it is always possible?', then I intend to get right to the heart of the issue - our conscience. Our conscience acts as a moral compass guiding us to know what is right and wrong - on the simplest level, this means we know that if we see someone in pain for example, we desire to help them, and if someone wrongs us we desire them to be punished and make amends. Along with this conscience we have the free will to do as we choose - we can choose in any given circumstance to do what we know to be right (kind) or wrong (unkind).

ii) How do you define 'kind'?

Well the astute reader will realise that the answer given above (i) assumes kindness to be right and unkindness to be wrong, but I think it is important that you realise that I don't mean kind as in always taking the soft option. Often the kindest thing to do for others is hurtful to them in the short term, but far from harming them will do them good in the long term. Take the correction of a child by his parent...The parent loves the child and wants to protect him from harming himself, so tells him off for playing with matches. The child is distressed and cries. Is this the soft option? No! But is it kind? Yes - the motivation is love, and because the parent loves the child, they are not scared to hurt the boys feelings in the short term to teach him that fire and matches are dangerous and prevent him from injury in the long term. Kindness is loving people and seeking the best for them regardless of the cost to yourself.

iii) And how would we know if anyone has?

There is no scientific way of proving whether anyone has actually achieved this - I am not omnipresent in space or time, nor do I know the hearts of men! But I can speak for myself and admit that I am most certainly not always kind! Far from it, when I examine my own heart I find a cesspit of selfishness and a desire for self promotion. I am not always kind to people, and not always because I want to see their downfall...more often because I value their opinion so highly, want to feel good about myself and impress others and God, that I no longer put their interests first. I want people to like and respect me, and care more about achieving that end, than I do about helping them.

I can also speak for the people around me and say honestly that no one I have ever met (which is admittedly a very small number of all of the people who have ever lived) has always been kind. Don't get me wrong, I have some fantastic friends, a loving family, a great Church and an incredibly gracious and generous boyfriend to top it off. But none of them are always kind. The ways in which they are selfish and put their own interests before others are a matter for their own conscience, but they cannot claim such innocence as this, and furthermore I don't believe they would. It's a claim so arrogant and wholly unbelievable that it would be ludicrous and pointless to make.

But I believe that there are in fact 2 nuanced questions we must ask ourselves on this matter:

Is it always possible to be kind? Well yes, I think it is. In every situation we choose how we respond. We choose whether to love others, or ourselves, and we are responsible for the choice we make.

Is it possible to always be kind? I think not - we are a broken people. The Bible says 'We all like sheep have gone astray'. Our hearts have a natural inclination to put ourselves first, which is why our default is selfishness and we must learn and practice hard at being generous and outward looking. We can't always be kind, because we will choose unkindness instead, when we follow our self centred human nature. For sure we will choose kindness too - but not every time. Reflect on your own life a moment and I'm sure it won't take long for you to see your own unkindness. How long ago since you were last unkind to someone? Honestly?

Memory verses

2009-05-28T22:47:00.004+01:00

Inspired by reading 'The Cross Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel The Main Thing by C.J. Mahaney (Hardcover - Oct 12, 2002)' a friend and I have decided to learn a Bible verse each week. This week's is taken from Romans 8: 31-34

"If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us."

Keep rejoicing!

About this blog.

2009-05-28T22:08:00.003+01:00

Da, da da da da da da Da!!!

My first ever blog post, on my first ever blog...thanks for taking the time to read it. I have recently started to feel that some sort of record of what's going on with me, what I'm learning, how I'm growing, what I find difficult and things I don't understand will be useful. Why? So that I can look at what God is doing in my life and that of those around me and be encouraged that trusting Him every day is not only helpful, but essential. So why publish it? Well I hope as God's grace is at work in me you will be encouraged, challenged and thankful. I also hope you might share your thoughts and ideas, challenges and experiences so that I won't think I know all the answers all the time.
So what can you expect to find on this here blog? To be perfectly honest I'm not sure yet, but I think mostly it will be about Jesus because he's super duper.
So welcome, and please don't be shy. If you have an opinion, share it, but be gracious to me and to others and consider who might read this before you post.

Always Rejoice!
Rachel.