Forgiven much and yet unwilling to forgive? What's with that?

I ask myself - why can't I forgive, when I've been so abundantly forgiven? Why so hard to let go of hurts when our Lord is faithful and just to forgive even the most repeated and loathsome of my own sins? I must have a very small view of the gospel, because when I take a step back and look at it (albeit with blurred vision) I realise it is not only foolish, but damaging to hang on to bitterness for wrongs done against me.

First of all, if I really understand that my life, and the lives of others are truly only about giving God glory, then I'll realise that I'm owed nothing, either by God or the people around me. They and I owe God everything. I'll also realise just how privileged I am that God has chosen to make living for his glory a beautiful, joy-giving, praise-inducing thing. And with that in mind, and in my heart, when 'bad things' happen, I'll rightly feel a sadness that things aren't just how God intended them to be, but rather than feel righteous indignation, I'll grieve the hurt caused to God by people choosing not to live his way.

Then I can let God, who I have also wronged with disproportionate frequency and zeal, deal with that sin, as well as mine. Be that on the Cross where Christ pays for the sins of those who trust him, or at final judgement for those who don't. I'll be sadder about those people who don't trust Jesus, knowing that the judgement they face is terrible. I'll be spurred on to share Jesus with them, both because I long for God to be honoured by them as is right for our loving God and creator, and because I love these people and want them to experience the mercy I too experience evey day.

So - I must choose to forgive when wrong is done to me. And why? Because it really is God's to deal with and he really has forgiven me so much in Christ. Who wouldn't want to be more like Jesus as a result of all of this?

Rejoice, again I will say rejoice!

Rachel