I'm in love with White Dee

I love White Dee.  This is a call to lovers and haters of 'Benefits Street' alike to take a look and learn from what I consider to be one of the most attractive women I've come across.

For those who don't know about it, Benefits Street is a channel 4 documentary exploring the lives of the various residents of James Turner Street in Birmingham.  The name, I assume, is intended to reflect the statistics that around 95% of residents of this particular street, receive benefits of some kind.

After being invited to sign a petition to stop further broadcasting of the programme following its controvrsial debut, I just couldn't resist the urge to take a look (I can't see how the petition was ever a winning strategy - it surely only served as free advertising for the programme!!!) and have found myself fascinated, at times horrified and angry, and overall in love...

I think White Dee might be the woman of my dreams, or perhaps more likely, the woman I'd like to be...and this is why.

1) White Dee is generous despite being poor - she lives on benefits as a single mum, struggling with depression and 2 children still young enough to depend on her.  Yet she has become known as 'the mum of the street' with other residents actually referring to her, both directly and to others as 'my mum' or 'mother'.  She is the 'go-to' person for advice on the street, for help with looking for jobs, paying bills, sorting out disputes and even acts as a bank for vulnerable adults who because of addiction and ill health, amongst other things, have genuine problems with managing their money.  She has a big heart, that sees her welcoming people into her home (and life) who I would feel uncomfortable even talking to.  She shares her phone, her laptop, her tea and her sofa with substance mis-users, the unemployed, single mums and even criminals.

2) She has a sense of humour - she is able to laugh at herself without being self-deprecating, and others without being mean.  She sees the absurdity and genuine hilarity of the word around her and rather than respond in bitterness and rancor, she laughs and rallies round and cracks on.  She has a big laugh that is infectious - I literally laugh out loud when she laughs and my faces lights up into a smile when she smiles.

3) She treats people kindly - even those who she expressly recognises are in error.  Its like she sees the faults in people around her, but refuses to be jaded by that.  She just keeps welcoming, listening and helping, regardless that the mess people are in is caused mostly by themselves.  She seems to reserve judgement, taking people as she finds them and treating them with a respect that they don't even show themselves at times.

4) She maintains a strong family unit - I know that may sound a contradictory statement as she is a single mum, but from what I can tell, there is undoubtedly a great deal of love and respect between her and her children.  She cares for them and talks to them and listens to them.  She makes the most of what she has, in order to create a safe and stable home.

Obviously my views are gleaned from watching a cleverly edited documentary on channel 4 - I don't know White Dee personally and am unlikely too - although if I ever had the chance to meet her I would definitely LOVE to!  But I feel a little like I have a teenage crush on her - I find myself smiling when I think of her, advocating her generosity to those who will listen, and wishing for a White Dee on my own street who I can share a cuppa and a sofa with.

When I try to understand the strength of my reaction to White Dee, I realise that an amazing thing has happened - she has caused me to look for the good in people first.  My own lack of confidence, jealousy and cynicism most often cause me to look for the worst bits in people first and then wait for them to prove themselves before opening my heart to them...but that is not possible when watching White Dee.  I can't help but love her right from the off, and also reserve judgement about those around her, just as she does.

So however you feel about Benefits Street - take a look at White Dee and ask yourself, how would the word be if I was a little more like her?